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Right now, the pain of losing your dog may seem unbearable. When faced with such a great loss, it’s not unusual to find yourself crying uncontrollably, losing sleep, isolating yourself from others, feeling alone, and perhaps losing or gaining weight.
You may experience anxiety, stress, guilt, and a loss of interest in life. People report panic attacks, suicidal thoughts, illness, missing work or school, and PTSD. People have lost their jobs, failed in school, been hospitalized, put on medication for depression and/or anxiety and felt the need to move, all because of the loss of their dog.
It is common to feel something is wrong for feeling so out of balance and so distraught. While attitudes are changing, many still hold a belief that “it was only a dog”, and so those who have lost a dog and know better can feel little support and understanding for their loss, which only adds to their heartache.
While not everyone experiences symptoms of such severity, they are not unnatural or unusual. Whatever degree your grief takes, remember to honor it. There is no right or wrong; grief is a process individual to each of us.
Please feel free to share your experience in the comments below.
I swore I wouldnt put him to sleep. I moved to Texas 45 years ago leaving all i had behind. Vato came into my life and even though He was a little older He was my only pal. Well CHF made Him so ill, I betrayed Him and had him put to sleep. I miss Him so much why did I have to do this!! I hate life, whats the use if everything we love is ripped away?
Since my dog Ace died, Rob, I advocate for hospice and a natural death. However, there are circumstances that favor euthanasia. I don’t believe it is as black and white as we might like it to be. No one wants to make the decision to euthanize, but I’m betting that you only made it because you felt it was the right thing for Vato. I’ll bet that you made the decision because in the moment it seemed like the best thing, and that alone leads me to believe you made the right decision. And I don’t have to know Vato to know that he loves you and understands why you did it. Vato’s spirit is nearby… ask him for a sign. Ask him to show you that he knows how much you love him & understands. Dogs love to bring comfort to their people!
Rob,
You are a good man. You kept your word to do the very best you could.
You ended the pain for your best friend as he would have for you.
Having just lost my dog yesterday, I realize the tears I cry are for me. I have to go on alone for now without my best friend who lived a wonderful life.
I hope you find quick peace in knowing you were a good friend to your dog and you saw him thru to the other side.
Best Regards
My Gizmo. .. I remember in 2000 I went to my friends mom’s place to pick a puppy… everyone said I should go for the big one…. no.. i wanted you…. you were just different from the rest… and we had our hassles… my best childhood memory is whenever I came home from primary school… my stocks would be your mission.. you’d hunt them until I look them off…. then during my first break up … I sat outside crying and you jumped on my lap and put your head against my chest… when I looked down you started wiping away my tears with your licks. Moving on a month ago… your first vet visit for an injury … you had a little hotpot on your tail… After they had vinished the vetbrought you out in your very dazed state. .and she gave you to me…. and what did you do… you put your head on my chest. ….. a month later you had been acting really funny… you weren’t eating pellets.. even tin food was sore for you… so we bought lots of ham because it was your favourite and you’d eat it… you stopped parking, you stopped licking me….your mouth was looking dunno but you wouldn’t let me touch it… you’d just sit there with your head on my chest… and then 2 days I took you to the vet again… she checked and thought it was your teeth… and at 26 years old she thought it was a slight risk…. but she felt your little heart beat… because you were a fighter. … you came back before from almost being ripped to pieces by a pit bull. .. you had scars all over your body and I stayed with you… I had to make a harness for you to get on my bed at night… you kept me awake with your l9ud whimpering nightmares seemed to be what you dreamed…. but now it was a different fightfor your life… The surgery was the next day… yesterday… and I picked u up and put you in my car… you always got excited in the car… looking out the window at everything. Smelling the new smells…. and we went to the vet… I tried to hand u to her… but you wouldn’t go… you fought us… and you climbed on my shoulders.. something you hadn’t done in years.. but eventually she got you… and as I walked out of the vet… I got in my car optimistic that he is a strong dog.. and he will get through the surgery……….an hour later the vet phoned me and asked me to come quickly…. my fears sprung up like knives into my brain and heart… I got to the vet to see you laying there under anaesthetic… With a drip on your leg… even though you were asleep your eyes were slightly opened and they were looking at me… The vet told me he had a that tumor…and when she opened his mouth… There it was… This big ball at the back of his throat…. I just shut down… I knew what was happening….she lay him back down… and told me she can’t do anything about it… The tumor was about to cm wide and restricting his airway…. you could gear him breathing. .. gargling and a knocking sound…. she said she could send him to a specialist…. but given that he is 16 years… It was so much trauma so much extra pain… and the life span of thoat surgery older dogs 8s only a few more months… those few more months would have just been pain for hin.. how could I do that to him…. so she brought out the needle.. that yellowy liquid….and put it into his drip and injected him…. and I sat there next to him rubbing his ears and neck… His favourite spots as his sedated eyes ddnt break from me…..and then she said it she said the words I never wanted to ever hear…. he’s passed…. at that time I was a ready welling up the tears… I had produced such a dam wall to tears since childhood. .. I never cried. .. bit this….. I cried. .. I just kept stroking him after he had passed….I watched my dog pass away… I was the reason he past away…. He trusted me and it felt like I betrayed him…… today is the day after it happened… I woke up… He wasn’t on my bed… I walked to the lounge mm he wasn’t under the table . . I went outside.. He wasn’t in the garden…and I just started crying…. I grabbed my blanket that he had claimed a year ago and just say there underneath it smelling him on it.. pretending he was here…..I really don’t know how I am going to get through this. .. for 16 years he has been not even a friend but a brother…. my family called him my second shadow… wherever I went. He went.. and if I was away from home. He sat by the front door waiting for me to come home… and when I did… The excitement he always had….. that tumor grew to the size of 6cm diameter in a month. . And he had a week to live after we had just found it yesterday. … It isn’t fair…. He was still a puppy… He may have been 16… but he was a puppy. He had so much energy… This wasn’t his time… and I had to make it his time…im sorry Gizmo…… you trusted me…. and I betrayed you.. but I couldn’t help you… I was helpless…. It was too progress . The tumor in his throat…….. I was helpless… and now the day after crying…. I still cry.. when I think of you on that table in the ft looking at me with those eyes…. at least you saw I was there…. at least I got to touch you one last time… and after you passed… I kissed you on the head… and said goodbye… I love you… words you heard everyday… kisses you got everyday…. and I miss you… so much… so much that waiting this has been really difficult…. how do I deal with this… you are really gone forever…who do I share my blanket with… my food…my bed…. you’re not here and everytime I look around I hope that you’d be there following me like the little second shadow you always were …. so a gizmo …. im sorry I had to put you down… knowing I ended your life is something I’ll hafe to live with… but I couldn’t let you suffer anymore… and I hope wherever you are .. that you can understand and forgive me…I’m Sorry my little Gizmo… my puppy… my gwappo.. watching you fall into your eternal sleep with my by your side is something I can be proud of I stayed with you till you were gone…till the very last breath and heart beat…..While you looked at me.. never moving your eyes away…I am really sorry . Maybe you’ll meet your old best friend Pikachu the rabbit up there… and you guys can cuddle like you used to…just remember I will never forget the 16 years we spent together… I will never forget everything we had done together… and ill never forget you…RIP my Gizzy
Wayne, I’m so sorry for your loss. You’ve left a beautiful tribute to your Gizmo. I’m sure he knows how very deeply he is loved. RIP Gizmo
wayne i feel your pain….does it feel any better after sometime?I lost my dear little peggi on 9th june n still the pain does not seem to go away…….u did the best for him.I’m sure he would be very happy where ever he is n thanking u for ending his pain.God bless both of u.
My beautiful boy died on Sunday..Total devastation..
I dont know how i will move on without him.
Hi Sara, I’m so sorry about your pup. Thanks for contacting me on Chat… I’ve sent you an email.
My Boston Terrier of 11 years just died tonight. She was in too much pain to go on, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less. I miss her so much and I can’t seem to take my mind off of her. Every reminder of her makes me break down crying. I love you Tilley.
Aw Jake, I’m sorry to hear about Tilley. It’s so hard, and your loss just happened. Be easy on yourself. Let the tears flow. Grief is a process that doesn’t necessarily follow a linear pattern… just when you think you’re doing better, you may feel worse. But it’s different for everyone. Know that it’s all ok; it’s all normal. One thing that can help is that you focus as much as you can on your gratitude for the time you had with Tilley, rather than on the fact that she’s no longer with you. It’s not an easy thing to do at first, but if you can make it a practice, it can help in time. Please let me know if you need support. You don’t have to go through this alone.
My friend died on wednesday, her name was Rita and she was 9 years old. Got sick and died very fast. I feel guilty and sad and with a lot of pain, like a black cloud is over me. We cremated her, and got her ashes yesterday and had a special memorial with our kids at home. I can still feel her next to my feet when I work, and hear the sound her paws made on the floor. I find myself looking for her, but she is not there.
Jennifer, I’m so sorry about Rita. I understand the guilt, sadness and pain you are feeling. Losing our dogs is so hard! I’m glad to hear you held a memorial. That’s a wonderful way to honor Rita, and it’s important to make time for mourning. Taking active steps to mourn will help more than trying to go on as though things are the ‘same’.
And while Rita’s soft, warm body may not be with you anymore, don’t underestimate that her spirit is likely very much still with you. Ask her for a clear sign!
Sorry for your loss.. The signs of your dogs spirit will appear and provide you a great deal of comfort.
There s no love like dog love perfect, uncomplicated, and unconditional. I have a friend who won t have dogs because of how much it hurts when they leave. But I think that it can t hurt that badly unless it felt equally good to have them. All things travel in opposites. And I can t find it in me to give up the wonderful times in order to avoid having the bad ones.
I agree. The relationship with my dog Ace was so profound & life changing for me, as well as brought me so much joy. The pain when I lost him was also profound, but I would never want to have missed what we had and what he gave me. No amount of pain and sorrow could lead me to give up the wonderful times of our life together. I would do it all over again in a heartbeat.
I had to put my 13.5 year old boy down almost a month ago. He has been dealing with respitory issues and an enlarged heart along with neuro issues. We had been managing it for a few years up until the last month did he start to decline. It was so difficult to see him those last few weeks. He had been through everything with me. I’m completely heartbroken. The mornings are the hardest. To wake up to the reality that he has gone. Sometimes I wonder if we made the decision too quickly. My mind understands that he was in pain and suffering yet my heart keeps saying what if and if only. I never truly prepared for the possibility of his last days with me because I was so determined to get him better. I hate that I didn’t spend as much as i could cherishing him and loving him as oppose to dragging him to vet after vet. I miss him immensely and feel a giant piece my heart has been ripped out.
I’m so sorry that you had to say goodbye…it’s so common to second guess our decisions, but the truth will always be that you did what you thought was the best thing at the time, and so it was. Try and live with that knowing. As much as we want our sweet dogs to live forever, they don’t. So my view is that we can best honor them by moving to love, forgiveness (of self and other when necessary) and joy as quickly as possible. Not saying that is easy, but it is the way of the dog. I can imagine my dog watching me saying “if I taught you anything, it was to shake it off (whatever it was) and be happy, each and every time.” Just a thought to contemplate as you go through your grieving process. I’m sure his spirit is with you! Peace to you my friend.
Had my 3 year old german shepherd hit by a car running out of the ditch a few days ago was a neighbor a few miles away who did it and felt terrible he was in tears himself this was my 3rd dog and 3rd german shepherd but im taking this one the hardest a year ago she was abducted for dog fighting i spent 10 days day and night knocking on doors and talking to people town to town getting leads but always too late eventually found her all beat up and spent 6500 on surgeries to fix her over last winter she made a full recovery then this happened our bond after all that got so much stronger i cant stop crying i feel it was my fault because she would run in front of quads cars equipment and i didnt have the heart to scold her to scare her enough i really dont know what im going to do ive never cried so much my entire life
Oh Cal, I’m so very sorry… what a tragedy for you and your sweet girl. I wish we could know why things happen the way they do, but we so often don’t and can’t make sense of it all. Perhaps it’s not ours to make sense of. I’m sure she knows how much she is loved and was grateful to be rescued from her captors. Your crying so much is your body releasing emotions, but you must also consciously mourn, which is to express your grief in action. Choose what feels right for you, but you can do things like: hold a memorial service, set up an “altar” to honor her, journal, make a photo collage, do volunteer work in her honor, perhaps to work against dog fighting… something that is meaningful to you. If you can help to raise awareness and stop dog fighting, something good could come from your experience, or find another way to honor her. Regardless of what you do, be kind & gentle with yourself as you go through the pain of loss. Her body is gone, but the bond and love you shared are eternal.
my dog (simba, a beautiful german shep) has been really sick since the last few weeks. its the first time in 9 years that he got sick, he was a regular for check ups and vet appointments. but the last week has been hell for me to see him suffer and in pain. im not sure what to do, the vet wants to put him down and i also dont want him to be in any pain. but i dont know how to do it, i dont have it in me, i have been really close to him ever since i adopted him or sould i say he took me in. i have never left him unattended and now i have to leave him forever.
I’ve sent you an email Shaarad and I’m praying for you and Simba. Maybe you can get a 2nd opinion for him? Let me know how I can support you!
Well, just put down my poor girl down this morning Annie. She was nearly 14 and had Cushings disease. I was devastated when I first heard that she had this terminal illness, I cried for days just as I did when I heard my dad had Cancer. The feeling of helplessness is over-whelming. She was on medication and lasted over a year to a point where I thought maybe she could beat this illness. I was not really prepared when she started going downhill near the end. My wife and I never had kids just her and one other dog that is sill alive. They were in fact our fur-babies even though I don’t like the term. I think the hardest thing was calling the vet and booking a time for them to kill her? This seems so terribly wrong but in my mind I know that logically this is the right decision as she can no longer walk on her own and barely hold food down. Lost a pile of weight and looking gaunt. I see in her eyes the hurt and pain yet she sees the fear in my eyes and does not want to let go. God why is this so hard, I think when mother nature takes care herself I cope so much better. When my dad ended up passing a few years back I seemed to deal with it better knowing it was out of everyone’s hands and that he would be out of pain. I now in the back of my mind dread the loss of my other dog that is 6 months older. 🙁
Len, I’m so sorry for the loss of your sweet Annie. I understand your feelings regarding euthanasia, where you say it seemed so wrong to book a time “for them to kill her”…. as long as that is your perception of that day, that action you took, you will suffer when you think of it. It may seem overly simple or meaningless to do so, but consider that you booked a time to release Annie from her suffering, pain and confusion. Consider that if she could no longer run and play, she would no longer want to stay, and you gave her the gift of release. Email me, through the Chat function on this site if you want to connect more.